Poor Mitt Romney.
No matter what he does he just can’t get any love from Republican primary voters. A CBS poll released before last Saturday’s debates showed Herman Cain in the lead with 18% of the vote – and Romney tied with Newt Gingrich for second with 15% of the vote.
Mind you the survey showed that Herman Cain’s support amongst Republican woman has been cut in half since his sexual harassment allegations, and that 7 in 10 GOP primary voters aren’t sure who they’ll support. But that can cut both ways. On the one hand it does show that Cain’s support has taken a hit.
At the same time it shows that even after two weeks of allegations and a horrible jumbled response more Republicans would rather have Cain take them to the prom than Romney.
See the problem is that Romney just isn’t cool like Herman Cain.
This last weekend on Meet the Press David Brooks noted that in a recent NBC/Wall Street Journal focus group participants were asked: “What sort of school kid would the candidates be?” They said Rick Perry would be the Bully, Herman Cain would be the popular guy and Romney … he’d be the Rich Kid.
Now I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen enough 80’s teen movies to know that the rich pretty boy Billy Zabka guy never wins. He always loses out in the end to the underdog, the badass or nerd with a heart of gold.
So: what’s Mitt Romney to do?
Since he’s not going to be a believable 80’s Daniel-san underdog, he should probably go for a more modern heartthrob to get some of that GOP love. How about a moody, mysterious M.O. Drake kind of high-school guy? GOP voters will love that he’s so conflicted about his faith, his background and wallowing in so much money that he experiences existential ennui. In fact, his campaign slogan should just be “I’m Just Saying You Can Do Better” and he should start singing Marvin’s Room every time a new poll comes out showing Herman Cain in the lead. The chorus should work on both Cain and Obama if Romney ever gets that far.
This article originally appeared at Politic365.com.