Herman Cain, in a laughable, poorly organized and sadly predictable manner, suspended his campaign on Saturday afternoon amidst allegations that he actually thought he was a real candidate for president.
I, like many of you, watched with eyes peeking between fingers as the Cain Train, the Cain Wreck and the Black Walnut Flavor of the Month finally bid adieu to the monochromatic crowd that were his Georgia supporters in a speech that can only be described as horrible. By horrible, I mean poorly written, highly self-congratulatory and ultimately another nail in the coffin of his post-campaign career.
However, even though sexual harassment allegations and a 13-year affair with porn star named “Ginger White” on Saturday it dawned on me that Herman Cain had accomplished all that he could’ve ever hoped for: Attention.
So far, out of the entire GOP field, there has only been one candidate who officially entered the race and officially dropped out – and that was Tim Pawlenty months ago. And while I’m sure T-Paw goes to sleep every night curled into a fetal position crying and wondering aloud why he dropped out (given the collection of rubes that have managed to stay in the race) no one really cared much about him when he was in it.
Herman Cain, the pizza magnate with the “Devil in the Details” (999) economic plan was probably the least viable candidate to grab the GOP nomination and by the end managed to get more press, attention and scrutiny than anyone could have expected. If his whole plan (and I suspect that it was ) was simply to raise his profile to enhance a post campaign speaking career and book tour then he accomplished a good 50% of his goal.
Herman Cain is now one of the best known public political faces in America. He can go anywhere in the GOP speaking circuit and make some extra cash after the election season is over. The other 50% of his goal is pretty much out the window. In his 1999 book Speak as a Leader he advises all potential leaders to “Expect the Unexpected Question” and that “There is no such thing as Off the Record.” I just don’t think he’ll be too credible on those topics after the massive embarrassment his campaign ended in.
In his final speech Cain used the same rhetorical flourishes that ingratiated him to his base and baffled or humored most other political observers. He complained that the press got on him about quoting a Pokemon movie, then proceeded to quote a Pokemon movie at length.
He kept talking on about how his campaign always had a Plan B, (his new website) which struck me as odd because I thought he was pro-choice – but Herman was never one for getting caught up in details or political planning. His TheCainSolutions.com website looks more like an ad for the Walking Dead on AMC than a healthy forum for political expression but isn’t that almost the point? Cain is the Walking Political Dead now, shuffling around from one talk show to another, desperately searching for BRAINS willing to feed his ego until he eventually endorses Newt Gingrich and fades into oblivion.
This article originally appeared online at Politic365.com.